Alicia

Alicia entered my life as a precocious 4 year old when her mother and I started dating, subsequently living together and marrying. She has become a shining light in my life. If someone had the opportunity and good fortune to choose a daughter, they could not chosen a finer human being.

It is a tribute to her that I never introduce her as a step-daughter and she never refers to Jared as a step brother. So ingrained in our life experience we consider each other as family.

As in all families, there have been some rough spots, (her famously telling me to get out of her house at one time), but, by and large, it has been a wonderful 36 years having her as a daughter. Recounted here are some of the more amusing and touching vignettes of our time together.

• The first time I took Alicia to a family gathering was in the summer of her fourth year, the occasion being a family reunion. Part of this gathering included a white elephant sale to raise money to defer the costs involved. Alicia had her heart set on a certain wrapped package which we bought, trying to buffer her high expectations. Our efforts were in vain. Upon the unwrapping, Alicia became the not very happy owner of a paper napkin dispenser. The crying and caterwauling that erupted from this tiny frame was ear shattering and unstoppable, causing a hasty exit from the pavilion.

• Alicia possessed an extremely thick head of hair, causing many anxious moments drying and combing out this thick mane after baths. The routine involved counting out loud to twenty as we combed and blow dried her hair. A ten second respite, followed by another twenty second torture session. This seemed to take hours.

• I took her to a Phillies game at Veterans Stadium when she was about 10. The Phillies were pretty bad at this time and our section in the lower bowl was sparsely occupied. In fact, there were more Mets than Phillies fans. We were in prime foul ball territory and ball after ball landed just out of reach. Around the fifth inning, after yet another ball escaped my reach, Alicia turns to me and says, “When am I getting a ball?” I gently explained that I have been coming to Major League games for over 20 years and have yet to get a foul ball. We went home empty handed.

• In middle school I was tasked with picking her and a number of girl friends up after a movie. Upon arrival and not seeing them, I was instructed to proceed to the rear of the theater were they waited. Upon their entry into my minivan, it was obvious they had been smoking cigarettes. I told them, “If you think you are cool and your parents will not know what you’ve been up to, you all are sadly mistaken”. The ride to the first drop off was deathly silent, none of the giggling about the movie, boys or whatever middle school girls chatter about was present. Stone, cold silence. Upon arriving at Lauren McCarthy’s house, who would eventually become one of our family’s dearest friends, all the girls piled out to “use the bathroom” except Alicia. She sat there stone faced and silent, it was saddening. The girls returned reeking of Listerine and perfume. Chuckling I said, “This won’t fool your parents.” Dropping off the rest of the girls we returned home, where I told Alicia I wasn’t going to tell her mother. Alicia proceeded to sit alone in the car for about ten minutes. Entering the house, the first thing she did was tell her mother. Wow, I thought she really is a keeper.

• In high school, our house became the spot for Alicia’s friends, it was a great experience having the house filled with a great group of teenagers. One weekend sleepover had about 6 girls staying over and the same amount of boys there until 11 pm. Following the weekend, Monday, my day off, I was cleaning the basement where all the fun took place. Moving a chair to vacuum, a bottle of cheap vodka appeared. When Alicia got home from school I showed her the bottle, I asked, “I want your word that no one who was drinking left and drove a car. And how did you get it. I’m not upset, we just can’t have your friends here drinking and then driving.” She said only the girls who weren’t driving drank and the bottle came from Wes, who worked at a local restaurant. I was satisfied and told her so and that I would not tell her mother. When her mother came home from work, Alicia followed her upstairs and confessed the whole thing. What a quality human we were raising! She later said, laughingly what where you doing moving that chair anyway.

• When Alicia and Jamie, her husband, moved to Connecticut and their first house, I received a phone call from Alicia. It was raining and she had just returned home, sitting in her car outside the garage. She asks, “Can I use the garage door opener, it’s raining and I don’t want to be electrocuted.” This coming from a girl who went through high school with all A’s, except for one B, in sewing. Who graduated Summa Cum Laude from West Chester University. No I said, you are safe, suppressing the belly laugh that was dying to get out.

• Oh how I love being her father.

These are just a few of stories I remember at this moment, there will be more and I will add them to this accounting.